Slic's State of the Schwarz Address

Hello my fellow Only in Americans,

I would like to start off by thanking Mr. and Mrs. William Flemming for extending me an invitation to their wedding. It was a wonderful ceremony, a fun reception, and I wish those two the best of luck in their future endeavors.

Now down to business. I will be honest, right now is a pretty damn good time to be Slic' Ric. As I was telling Mr. Sims Saturday, these last two months have been one hell of a ride. I feel a little like a rock star going out on tour. It just seems like every weekend it's a different place with new and interesting people producing more and more outrageous stories from the road. I wish I could tell you it is going to slow down soon but I am nearly booked up for May and working on June already. Check out the schedule below to see when I'll be woooooooooin' in a town near you.


Slic's Reunion Tour Dates and Locations for May:
May 1st-3rd: Athens, GA. (Georgia-Florida Baseball; Kentucky Derby)

May 8th-10th: Open (Contact Slic at 770-712-5731 to schedule an event)

May 15th-17th: Savannah/Tybee Island, GA (Long Awaited Return To Beach Bum Parade)

May 22nd-24th: Sea Island, GA (Huge Blowout Extravaganza of Epic Proportions with new friends Emily and Jennie- much like T-town, Sea Island will never be the same)

May 29th-30th: Loganville, GA (Cousin's High School Graduation- I will only be there Friday night; back in Buckhead and ready to roll Saturday night)

In other Slic news, work is going well. I have been working on a pretty big conferencing deal with ISDA out of New York for about a month and a half now. After numerous phone and email correspondences with a lady named Monica, I have been informed that they are in the final stages of making a decision, which could come as early as this week. This would be huge pick-up and hefty boost to my commission check for next month. I am also in negotiations with a company called Court Call out in Los Angeles which could prove to be very profitable. Our CEO is going to fly out there in a couple of weeks to meet with their CEO. I am trying to convince her that I should go as well because I will be the person in charge of their account. Unfortunately she has not come around on this idea but I still have time.

I recently came up with an idea for a business that I would like to get off the ground by my 26th birthday. I won't go into any details now but I am currently doing some research and putting together a business plan. I intend on starting a marketing campaign by the end of May to see if the market is there for my particular idea. If the market is there (which I am very confident it is) then plans will move forward. Right now the biggest problem I see on the horizon involves attaining a small business loan to get things going. If I can get things going though, this business may allow me to purchase a Donzi 29 by age 28 and my private jet, aka Lil' Naitch by age 35. I will keep the blog abreast of my progress in this business venture.

To briefly recap Saturday, I got 1 of my 2 masses for the year out of the way which is good because I missed the Celtic Cross mass this year. Now I am back on track. I was very last in the communion line but at least I got the words right this time. I brought back about 15 koozis from the wedding reception. Why? I'm not really sure. It was good to see everybody again, especially the Leonard boys. Never had a bad time with those guys. Apparently I am not welcomed back at Mercury Lounge anymore which is okay because I hate that place and I told them that. Just like people, inanimate objects (i.e. concrete walls, parking meters, street signs, etc.) are fair game when it comes to being chopped. For those of you wondering, my hand is fine. Nothing is fractured or broken but the side of my thumb is slightly bruised. It is barely even noticeable. If I would have caught up to the guy in the car I was chasing he would have received one hellacious chop that may have stopped his heart on impact. Judging from P Lowe's videos, I would make a great traffic cop. Speaking of P Lowe's videos, I almost got my revenge on the device responsible for all of these videos. Next time, it might not be so lucky. The walk down to River Street was eventful just because I happened to be on the phone most of way and I was talking kind of loud and strutting. That drew some looks from everyone I passed, especially after the multiple wooooooooo's. Kevin Barry's was packed but I didn't know anybody there. After realizing everybody else was on their way home and Holland and Murray weren't coming I took a car bomb and sipped on a half and half for an hour or so before catching a ride home with Mimie. I wouldn't call it a top 5 night but it certainly wasn't a letdown either.

In much more recent news, as in about 2 hours ago I ordered another custom made suit online from JoS. A. Bank. This one is a tan colored 3 button executive suit. This brings Slic's suit total up to 6. I am hoping to hit double digits by the time football season rolls around. If either one of the deals come through that I mentioned above I will definitely achieve this goal. The suit will be here in 3-5 business days so I may debut it in Athens this weekend or I may save it for Sea Island weekend. I haven't decided yet.In conclusion, I have got things pretty much the way I want them right now. The past couple of months could very well be the greatest 2 month span of my life. May figures to be very exciting and the thoughts of potentially being CEO of my own company at the age of 26 is very encouraging. To quote the man himself, "diamonds are forever, and so is Slic' Ric! Wooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"