Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Joke of the Week

Being march and all I continued with the Irish theme. Enjoy.

Irishmen in an Aussie bar
A man walked into a Melbourne bar and ordered a pint of the dark liquid. 'Excuse me,' said the only other drinker. 'Is that an Irish accent I detect?' 'It is, sir. Dublin to be exact.' 'Bless my soul,' said the first. 'I'm a Dublin man meself. Ballymun to be precise.' 'Be-jaysus, aren't I from Ballymun meself - Carberry Street in actual fact,' remarked the second. 'Carberry Street is where I was born and raised meself, and St Joseph's was me parish church, Father Dunne the parish priest.' 'Didn't I go to nine o'clock mass every Sunday at St Joseph's. What an amazingly small world. Did you go to St Joseph's School?' 'I did. I was in Miss Slattery's class.' 'God in heaven. So was I.' Just then the phone rang and the Aussie barman said, 'Not too busy at the moment. In fact there's just the Murphy twins here.

Happy March

Welcome back to White History months and perhaps the greatest month of the year and congrats to all on making it out of a long drawn February. March is a great time of the year when people all around the United States sway their concerns from African American culture (i.e. "Jamie Fox's LaughaPalozza", "When the Levee Breaks") and focuses on Mayonaisse, wheat bread, curling, and all other things "white." This March, as all Marches usually do, has a lot of things to look forward to and if I miss anything please dont hesitate to bring it to my attention.
Things to look for in March
-New Season of South Park scheduled to start Wednesday March 7th, and if the new episodes are as funny as the last two seasons than we are in for a treat.
-The best sporting event of the year (Im talking about Basketball of course, not any of those "fad" "sports" such as soccer or nascar) is heating up as we are only about a week away from conference championships and about two weeks away from the big dance.
-March is also filled with numerous birthdays, myself included. Starting the month of right on the 5th is our boy PLowe and all are encouraged to show him hows it done the first weekend of spring break. Other notable birthdays include Brandon Sauers, Jody Wright, and i believe (correct me if im wrong) our own contributor Larry Coneff.
-Last but certainly not least we are only 17 (10 if your on Tybee time) days away from the greatest holiday of the year. This is the time of the year where we all can celebrate our Irish Heritage (except Donnie-go back to England or wherever you came from), and get crazy in the streets of Savannah. I encourage all "visitors" to join in the festivities.

No Stukes Tonight

Inside sources tell me that Levi Stukes has not made the trip to Lexington. Probably will be termed a violation of team rules.

Woodbury and Corey Butler will have to pick up the slack, I guess.

We may need a miracle on Senior Night at Rupp.

Monday, February 26, 2007


Another huge week for Georgia athletics and probaly the biggest week for the Georgia basketball program in 5 years. The scenarios seem to be endless for Georgia. However, its real easy if Georgia loses both this week; they have to win the conference tounament to get a ticket. If Georgia wins both, they're in. If Georgia splits, a lot is left up in the air with at least a win in Atlanta probaly needed. Georgia can do as well as a 2 seed in the east if they win both games, and as bad as a 5 seed if they lose both. Vandy will most likely lock up the 2 seed with a win @ USC. Therefore, we need Florida to play well. If Georgia splits this week and Florida wins @ Tennessee and vs. Kentucky, Georgia would get the 3 seed in the east. If Tenessee loses both this week and Kentucky wins both of their games this week, we get the 4 seed and Tennessee gets the 5. If we beat Kentucky but lose to Tenessee, we would still be the 4 and Kentucky would be the 5. Simply put, it would only help our resume to finish ahead of Kentucky and Tennessee in the standings. But a 4 seed in the east would present the best bracket layout for Georgia. Either way Georgia has to win at least one this week and hope for some success in the Dome.

-The Baseball team plays host to a very good Winthrop team on Tuesday and arguably the most storied program in college baseball history iwith Southern California this weekend. Georgia needs a 3-1 week to get above .500. The pithing has been better than expected and the hitting has been about what most expected. Even though Georgia stands at 3-4, they are just a couple of pitches away from being 5-2. Freshmen CF Cerione, and Freshmen pitchers McCree and Earls have shown signs of brilliance.

-Tennis team won the National Indoors last week. Tuesday they match up against Tulsa, but more importantly #3 Nationally ranked John Isner takes on the #2 nationally ranked player. Sunday is the biggest home match of the year against LSU.

-Ashley Houts was again named SEC Freshman of the week and Christie Marshall continues to excell. The Lady Dawgs finished 2nd in the conference and if they make it to the SEC final they will most likely receive a 2 seed in the NCAA tournament.

-Softball team was miserable in Columbus. Heads to Hawaii this week and will probaly pass over Doucette on the flight. Larry has requested that any questions about the team be directed to him.

Women's Basketball:
SEC Tournament-
Friday 3:30 [FSN]
Saturday 9:15 if advanced. [FSN]
Sunday 7:30 if advanced. [ESPN2]

Tuesday vs. Winthrop 5:00
Friday vs. USC 6:00
Saturday vs. USC 2:00
Sunday vs. USC 1:00

Wednesday @ Kentucky 8:00 [LFS]
Saturday vs. Tennessee 4:00 [LFS]

Eastern Division
1. Florida (12-2) @UT, UK
2. Vanderbilt (9-5) @SC, AR
3. Tennessee (8-6) UF, @UG
4. Georgia (8-6) @UK, UT
5. Kentucky (8-6) UG, @UF
6. South Carolina (4-10) VU, @LS

Western Division
1. Mississippi St. (7-7) @AR, UA
2. Ole Miss (7-7) @UA, AU
3. Auburn (6-8) LS, @UM
4. Alabama (6-8) UM @MS
5. Arkansas (5-9) MS, @VU
6. LSU (4-10) @AU, SC
Congratulations to the 2nd greatest wrestler of all time and Memphis native Jerry "The King Lawler" on his induction into the WWE Hall of Fame.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Funniest Shit EVER!!!!
Courtesy of Vicious J.---big fan of mini malls

---check out the schwarz shirt!!

Joke of the Week

It's the best I could do give me a break.

Swollen At The Doctor's

Don't laugh!" said the patient, Ed."Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.
Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again.
Now...what seems to be the problem?""It's swollen," Ed replied.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

R.F.I. 2007

22 February 2007: The Benedictine Brigade retains the Gold Star as an Honor Unit with Distinction.

As the Brigade Executive Officer, my principle duty is to assist the Brigade Commander in all areas ascribed to the administration and coordination of the staff. The alleviation of these duties from the realm of responsibility of the Brigade commander, allow him to focus more acutely on the the broader aspects of his command. Throughout the school year the Brigade commander and I have worked together closely....

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Joke of the Week

A man walks into a bar, absolutely infuriated. He grabs a seat and hunches over. The bartender leans over, sayin "What can I get'ya". The man orders a beer. As the bartender gives him the beer he asks him why he's in such a mood. The man replies saying " Lawyers are assholes man." Suddenly, a man in the back stood up. "HEY BUDDY, I TAKE OFFENCE TO THAT!" The man sitting down scowels and says "What are you a lawyer?" The man replies "NO, IM AN ASSHOLE".

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Dan Hawkins Wrestling Promo

For those of you who haven't heard it.

This follows the standard professional wrestling promo formula of: start off calm, explaining the situation --> surprising outburst --> liberal use of the word "Brother." Priceless.

Georgia vs. Duke?

Georgia is close to finalizing a basketball game against Duke at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The contest would take place next season (2007-2008) on a date to be determined. Coach Felton has hinted at this the past couple of weeks after being in contact with Coach K.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

And the Streak Ends

For the first time in over a decade and a half, the Benedictine basketball program recorded a postseason victory. The Cadets defeated Harlem 55-47 in the first round of the 3-AAA region playoffs at Cross Creek High school. BC advances to play Glenn Hills, ranked #7 and #4 in two different polls, on Thursday night at Cross Creek. The winner will advance to the State Playoffs.

It's On!

As it has recently been brought to my attention as I'm sure it has to all of you, Donnie decided, this weekend,that it was a good idea to piss in my basketball shoes. I just wanted to take this time to tell everyone that this means war. The motives are still unclear but a very reliable source has informed me of the time and location that this mischievous act took place.Whether it was in between him punching holes in the ceiling or sliding down the steps naked is still unconfirmed.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Joke of the Week

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

Thursday, February 08, 2007

PGA Tour Loses Tournament

I'm posting this because I know some of us like to follow golf and one of us is just enamoured with the multitiude of different scoring formats for golf. The International tournament has been cancelled, effective immeadiately. The tournament is being cancelled due to the lack of sponsor interest and the inability of the tournament to fund itself. The International at Castle Pines , held just outside of Denver, is most known for using the modified Stableford scoring system which rewards agressive play. The tournament was moved to the week of Independence Day in 2007 after being played in August for a majority of its existence. One of my 10 favorite tournaments, The International leaves a void that forces the tour to search for a replacement in the heart of golf season. Washington D.C is the #1 candidate to hold the new event but oddly there has been a significant push by one of the tour's players for the tounament to be held in either Las Vegas or Bentonville.

Monday, February 05, 2007

BIG Week

This week allows me to ignore the dreadful weather of Athens in February and shines light on how good it can be to be a student at Georgia. Though I have 2 tests this week and two more next week, its not too often you get to see two defending national champions play in the same week and go eat and drink on behalf of 20+ 18-year olds.
The baseball team opens with Oregon St. in a series that does not hold a lot of importance but will be interesting to see a lot of new names. The pitching could be stong with Leaver, Moreau, Dodson, and Holder. All showed a lot of promise last year but none were full time starters. Fields might be the best reliever in the country and will have to be fantastic to carry an average bullpen. Wyatt,Beckham, and Piesel are the only proven position starters. Wyatt will start in Center but I wouldn't be surprised to see him move back to Left and Piesel is moving to First. Olsen in Right and Robbins at DH are the other returnees who have significant experience. There will be Freshman everywhere and that will probably lead to struggles in the early portions of the season when Georgia plays one of the toughest non-conference schedules in the country. Georgia is capable of being in every game if the Starters pitch to their capabilities. I see them finishing in the 7-8 range in the final SEC standings and grabbing a #2 seed in the NCAA tournament. With a young team, that would be a nice season. Georgia wins one this weekend against the Beavers.
The Basketball team was simply disappointing last week. The lack of intensity and the fact that Michael Griffin could have shot better from long distance led to 2 poor showings. Mike Mercer has to be a whole new player or his minutes need to decrease. He has done nothing but hurt Georgia's progress in the last two weeks. More importantly Brown needs more touches. He might be a 1st teamer if he gets an adequate amount. He's playing like one of the best post players this University has seen in a long time. And I continue to see that Georgia goes as Stukes' shooting does and he didn't go last week. A win against Florida would make everything better but a loss might be the beginning of a run to the NIT. Brewer will play with what turned out to be just a bruised knee. Once again Stegeman will be packed and just that is a great sign for the program and basketball recruiting.
The poor finish by Georgia in football recruiting puts a little damper on signing day but we addressed most of our needs and I am not as down about this class as most are. Huge week that also includes a #2 vs. #3 matchup in Gymnastics and by weeks end the countdown will reach 33. Go Dawgs.

Football: Wednesday- Signing Day (ALL DAY)
Basketball: Wednesday vs. Florida(7:30) ; Saturday at South Carolina(7:00)
Baseball: Friday-Sunday vs. Oregon St. (5:00, 2:00, 1:00)

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Joke of the Week

What is red and looks good on Hippies?

Happy Thursday yall have a good weekend.