Friday, August 31, 2007

Mr. Keeennnnneeddddyyyy Gone?

The WWE has suspended 10 wrestlers for violations of its wellness policy in reference to steroid use. They issued suspension notices based on independent information from the prosecutor's office in Albany County, N.Y., which has been investigating illegal steroid sales. In all there was 20 WWE Superstars that were listed as being clients of the busted Signature Pharmacy in Orlando. 15 out of the 20 are currently under WWE contract, 3 are deceased (Brian Adams, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero), one was recently released (Sylvain Grenier), and another one of the names was about to be signed this week (Johnny Stamboli).

Names Revealed By Sports Illustrated:

Most-Likely The Ones Suspended

* Charlie Haas - Purchased drugs as late as January 2007.

* Chavo Guerrero - Purchased drugs as late as May 2006.

* Edge - Purchased drugs as late as February 2007.

* Funaki - Purchased Somatropin in March 2006.

* Gregory Helms - Purchased drugs as late as February 2007.

* John Morrison - Purchased five different drugs as late as February 2007 .

* Mr. Kennedy - Purchased three drugs between October 2006 and February 2007, including testosterone, which is an anabolic steroid. Kennedy sternly claimed in a recent interview entitled 'WWE Stopped My Steroid Use' that he completely stopped doing steroids as soon as the WWE Wellness Policy was implemented.

* Randy Orton - Purchased drugs as late as February 2007.

* Umaga - Purchased Somatropin as late as December 2006.

* William Regal - Purchased drugs as late as November 2006.

Listed As Clients Of Signature Pharmacy But Not On Sports Illustrated's List:

* Batista (I was completely shocked about Batista and Masters- they don't have that look)
* Chris Masters
* King Booker
* Santino Marella
* Simon Dean

Thankfully this will only be a 30 day suspension for "first offenses" and it won't start until November 1st.

Monday, August 27, 2007

The OIA Top 25

And finally, here comes my favorite part of our preseason prognostications, mostly because I'm relieved to have finished tallying the votes for this thing, which wasn't all that fun. So here it is...

1. USC - 150 (6)
2. LSU - 137
3. Texas - 123
4. Michigan -107
5. West Virginia - 103
6. Oklahoma - 97
7. Louisville - 96
8. Georgia - 86
9. Florida - 75
9. Tennessee - 75
11. Florida State - 73
12. Wisconsin - 63
13. Cal - 61
14. Virginia Tech - 60
15. UCLA - 57
16. Ohio State - 50
17. Arkansas - 47
18. Nebraska - 43
19. Auburn - 40
19.Georgia Tech - 40
21. South Carolina - 36
22. Miami - 33
23. Rutgers - 32
24. Boise State - 27
25. Clemson - 23

Also Receiving Votes: Georgia Southern - 19, Penn State - 19, Iowa - 17, Notre Dame - 17, Hawaii - 15, Alabama - 11, Oregon - 11, Texas A&M - 11, Texas Tech - 10, Missouri - 9, San Jose State - 9, TCU - 8, Real Madrid - 7, South Florida - 5, Illinois - 4, Rice - 4, Arizona State - 3, Oklahoma State - 3, Savannah High - 3, Savannah Sand Gnats - 2, Kent State - 1, Oregon State - 1
Thoughts: So yeah, we all took the easy way out and put USC at No. 1, but for good reason, I think. The rest of the top 5 is pretty standard, and of course, Georgia is way, way too high, but I think we all saw that one coming. Some of the other SEC teams' rankings are probably a little inflated as well, but other than that, it's a pretty solid poll for the most part. I also really, really like Tech at No. 19.

So that's it. That's the list. It looks like all that stands between us and football season are two days and the Week 1 picks at that other blog.

The World's Only Heisman List Featuring a Backup QB

Now here’s where things start to get interesting. We got a diverse mix of Heisman Trophy candidates from our voters, including dark horses DeSean Jackson, Percy Harvin, and Savannah’s own Eron Riley. There were also a few vote-getters who, as much as we may love them, don’t appear to be eligible for this esteemed award. The good thing for Mssrs. Holland and Tootle, though, is that they do have five years of collegiate eligibility left. And now, the results…

1. Darren McFadden, Arkansas - 17 (2)
2. Steve Slaton, West Virginia - 16 (1)
3. John David Booty, USC - 13 (1)
4. Mike Hart, Michigan - 6
5. Joe Cox, Georgia - 5 (1)

Also receiving votes: Brian Brohm, Louisville; DeSean Jackson, Cal; Colt McCoy, Texas; Matthew Stafford, Georgia; Colt Brennan, Hawaii; Percy Harvin, Florida; Eron Riley, Duke; Mario Manningham, Michigan; Matt Castelo, San Jose State; Anthony Morelli, Penn State; David Tootle; Michael Vick; John Joseph Holland; O.J. Simpson

Fantasy Futbol...

For all of those who are in Joey's football league this is just a reminder that the draft is tonight at 10:30. If this is a problem for anyone post a comment and maybe Joey can move it to a later date.

We Are Shameless Homers

Next up: our SEC picks. As you can see in the last post, we've already taken LSU as our conference champ, with homeriffic pick Georgia as the runner-up, but our complete division standings look like this...

East Division
1. Georgia - 31 (3)
2. Florida - 29 (2)
3. Tennessee - 26 (1)
4. South Carolina - 22
5. Kentucky - 10
6. Vanderbilt - 8

West Division
1. LSU - 36 (5)
2. Arkansas - 25
3. Auburn - 24
4. Alabama - 21
5. Ole Miss - 10
6. Mississippi State - 9

Thoughts: I think we're a little higher on Arkansas than most national pundits are, probably because most of us are more concerned with on-field results than all the hillbilly drama that's been going on in Fayetteville over the last year or so. I just don't know about Georgia, though, guys, but that's for a whole 'nother post, I guess.

Heisman ballot and Top 25 to come some time over the course of the afternoon.

We really need to come up with a catchy name for this

It's game week, finally, and now time to reveal the first annual Only in America official preseason predictions. We had a good turnout this year, as all but one of our contributors decided to participate. That means six voters' ballots were combined to make this year's picks, all making their selections completely independent of one another.

First, we have what is by far the least interesting of our four categories: the BCS conference champions. Without further ado...

Southeastern Conference:
LSU - 4
Georgia - 2

Big Ten:
Michigan - 5
Iowa - 1

Big East:
West Virginia - 3
Louisville - 2
Rutgers - 1

Pacific 10:
USC - 6

Atlantic Coast Conference:
Virginia Tech - 2
Clemson - 1
Florida State - 1
Miami - 1
Wake Forest - 1

Big XII:
Texas - 3
Oklahoma - 2
Texas Tech - 1

Thoughts: It's all basically chalk, but that's to be expected any time you have multiple people voting on anything in the preseason. The only truly interesting thing to note is that five different teams were tabbed as ACC champion. Maybe that's because we all remember Sean Glennon's bowl game meltdown all too well, or maybe it's because the ACC truly is the most wide open league here at start of the season.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Last Chance for Picks

The start of the college football season is less than a week away, and we're almost done compiling everyone's ballots for the first annual Only in America Official Preseason Predictions. The only problem is, we're waiting on two more members of the blog to send their's in.

As a reminder, we're only asking for your mock Heisman ballot, top 25, SEC predictions ( top to bottom), and BCS conference champions. Send your choices to, or at least send me an e-mail saying you've chosen not to participate. We're running the numbers now, and the results will be posted on Monday, using whatever ballots we have.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Why not...

This looked kind of cool and could make making picks easier. If you want to join,
click here
click join existing group
then click join Private group.

The group ID # is 13922
and the password is "onlyina"

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Who's Now Second Round

Mallard Bracket
1:Willie James Huff Funky Chicken Ala Rackba
8: Schiv

12:Joey Waldrop
13: Danny Bunger

6: Lil Natch
3: Bill Curley

10: Leighton Maher
2: Coach Carl

Betsy Daniell Bracket
1: Joey Bunger
9: Michael Peaches Kobleur

5: Mrs. Artlisa Alston
4: Terrance Hennessey

6: Amanda Schwarz
3: Fred Anderson

7: Bad Santa Ryan Gibson
10: Malagros

David Pollack Bracket
1: Scotty Too Hotty Shelton
8: Brendan Gillins

5: Damon
4: David Tootle

11: Colonel Owens
3: Lamar Owens

7: Dixieland Sweet Tea
2: Donna Youngblood

Donnie Bell Bracket
1: Mark Beasley
9: Vincent Kennedy McMahon

12: Ghost of Rick
4: Zack Troughton

11: Paul Webber
3: Ric Flair

10: Wayne Munch
2: Tommy Cannon

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

I've Been Up/ And I've Been Down...

…but it’s good to be back/ in Athens-town.

Something about being back to within several hundred yards of the nation’s fifth-largest on-campus stadium gets my college football juices flowing again in a way they just never seem to in Savannah. Thus, I think I’ve got this Only in America official predictions business pretty well figured out already.

We’ll break things down into four separate categories: the mock Heisman ballot, the top 25, SEC predictions, and the other automatic BCS bids. And in order to maintain some level of suspense, I’d ask each of our contributors/“team members”, or whatever to send their picks directly to me at the e-mail address I just finished setting up:

I’m not going to set a deadline just yet, since we have several weeks before the season gets underway, but I really hope everyone can find a couple of minutes to send their picks to me eventually (don’t worry, I know I’ll end up reminding you incessantly).

And one more thing: I really don’t care how much time or effort you put into the picks, as long as you get them in to me. The whole idea is to get the blog’s consensus, not for everyone to do exhaustive research if they don’t want to. Obviously, some of us care a whole lot more about this meaningless crap than others, but it should be interesting to see what we all can agree upon.

Here’s a sample ballot (again, do not post your picks in the comments. Instead, send them to me at

1. Tim Tebow, Florida
2. Erik Ainge, Tennessee
3. Gary Guyton, Georgia Tech
4. Kenny O’Neal, Tennessee
5. Mike Hunt, Mississippi State

Top 25:
1. USC
2. LSU
3. Florida, etc.

1. Florida
2. Georgia
3. Kentucky
4. South Carolina
5. Tennessee
6. Vanderbilt

1. Alabama
2. Arkansas
3. Auburn
4. LSU
5. Miss. State
6. Ole Miss

SEC Winner: Florida

ACC Champ: Wake Forest
Big XII: Oklahoma
Big Ten: Ohio State
Big East: Louisville
Pac 10: USC

Simple enough, am i rite?

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

School Bad. Football Good.

Fall practice has started at the University of Georgia, and presumably every other major university in America. The Hall of Fame Game has already been played, albeit on the NFL Network. We’re all getting mentally prepared for the forthcoming Joey Harrington Experience. Summer is well past its climax and I’ll find myself already back in Athens come Wednesday afternoon. Yep, it’s almost time for real football, played on a real football field and, I hope, time for me and my fellow bloggers to start stepping up our collective game.

So, how to spend a week in America’s greatest college town with relatively little on the agenda? Let’s see. Should I…

…sit around all day in anticipation of The Home Team on 960, only to be disappointed when a certain co-host completely ruins the show for me?
…go for as many scenic drives down Milledge Avenue as possible once Fall Rush begins?
…hang out with underage football players at the trendiest of downtown bars?
…go to Blind Pig way too many times?
…or just bide my time until my first chance to be the third wheel when Rick and Donnie hit the town?

I’ll do each and every one of those things, of course, but the rest of the time will be used in preparing this year’s Only in America/Pure Football Baby preseason spectacular: predictions, rankings, hopefully all kinds of other stuff.

My hope is that, in addition to whatever I decide to post on my own, we can put together an official OIA/PFB preseason predictions post, so keep on the lookout. Over the next couple of days, I’ll figure out how that's going to work and keep you posted.

Saturday, August 04, 2007


Tomorrow morning at 6:30 AM, I am hopping on a jet to Las Vegas, Nevada. I will return late Thursday night. Life will be much different for all of us upon my return. I plan on winning between 4 million and 16 million dollars. After I buy up all the seasons of The Office, I would like to distribute goods to all of you except Murray. Please list one thing in the 1000- 1,000,000 dollar price range that you wish to receive with the prize money. Also, email, text, fax, or call me if you want me to place any sports bets. Au revoir!

Donnie Bell Bracket

1: Mark Beasley
16: Mudcat

8: Marshall Spivey
9: Vinny Mac

5: Chrisss (from Rue Bourbon St.)
12: Ghost of Rick (Rick since the 03 graduation party)

4: Zack "BUZZ" Troughton
13: Frank Brooks Zeigler

6: CMR (UGA head football coach)
11: Paul Webber

3: Ric Flair
14: Matthew Stafford

7: Stephen Allman
10:Wayne A Munch

2:Tommy Cannon
15: Zack Albers

Wednesday, August 01, 2007