Obnoxiously Long Post Time

Since there aren't a whole lot of things I post about on here, and music is one of them, I'll go ahead and throw out my best music of the 2000s extravaganza. Note: there are several sports “best-ofs” in the works that will be a lot more interesting.

I'll go ahead and say this now -- I don't care about what's the “most important,” “most influential,” or anything else. The way I see it, the only way to make a list like this is to go with what you think is the “most awesome.”

And because I know no one really gives a damn about what I think is cool, I'll start with a Top 5 that everyone should be able to get behind:

The Top 5 Songs That People Actually Listened To In The 2000s*

5. Jet, Cold Hard Bitch -- Jet is a seriously terrible band. Or was. I don't know if they still exist, but I do know that no one here cares enough for me to waste the 15 seconds it would take to look that up. I also don't know how awful bands trip over themselves into one great song, but Jet managed to do that in 2003.

4. Outkast, Hey Ya! -- I almost left this off the list, just because it was overplayed to the point of annoyance for years. But I listened to it again at the last minute, and there are still like 25 different hooks stuffed into the song. Sometimes things get overplayed for good reason.

3. Modest Mouse, Float On -- It's still really weird that this song took off like it did. Unlike songs by other good bands like the White Stripes, it actually got played on Mix stations and stuff. It really was inescapable, and I'd consider it the first of many Bourbon Street specials.

2. Kelly Clarkson, Since U Been Gone -- I'll never understand why more songs like this one don't become huge hits. Or to be more specific, why artists as visible as Kelly Clarkson don't record more singles like this one: a simple, three-minute rock song with a massive chorus.

1. The Killers, Mr. Brightside -- Not only is this the best Top 40 single of the decade, but The Killers are clearly the best singles band of the decade. Their albums might blow, but damn if they don't write two or three keepers every time out. Also, this song owned B-Street for the better part of our college careers, which has to count for something.

Also considered: Franz Ferdinand -- Take Me Out, Beyonce -- Crazy In Love, Jay-Z -- Izzo.

* My sense of what was “actually listened to” is probably way off.

Now for the stuff that interests no one:

The Actual Top 5 Songs According To Anymouse

5. TV on the Radio, Wolf Like Me -- Yes, it's a song about turning into a werewolf. No, it's got nothing to do with all those movies about teenagers turning into various mythical creatures. Which begs the question: Slic, you seen those Twilight movies yet?

4. Neko Case, I Wish I Was the Moon -- Sometimes it's hard to remember that country music exists outside the realm of The Beauregard's, but Neko Case's voice is able to remind me every so often.

3. Drive-By Truckers, Goddamn Lonely Love -- You knew I had to get Drive-By Truckers/Jason Isbell onto this list somehow. I'd say this was Isbell's finest moment with the band.

2. The White Stripes, Ball and Biscuit -- Best song by the best band of the decade, pretty much.

1. The Hold Steady, Stuck Between Stations -- Song's got everything. It's loud, catchy, has smart lyrics and a Bruce Springsteen piano breakdown. On the right day, I'd call it my favorite song of all time.

Also considered: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists -- Me and Mia, Songs Ohia -- Farewell Transmission, The Libertines -- Can't Stand Me Now.

And finally:

The Top 5 Albums According To Anymouse

5. The White Stripes, White Blood Cells -- I really could have put anything the White Stripes did this decade in the Top 5, but I guess this is the most deserving record. Partly because it was my, and just about everyone else's, introduction to them. Partly because “Fell In Love With a Girl” and “Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground” probably are the quintessential White Stripes songs.

4. The National, Alligator -- I know it's really hacky to just post things other people have written, but I'm running out of steam at this point, so that's exactly what you're getting with the next three: “...wry, filthy, and often eloquently sad tales of materialism, sex, and loneliness... The National may sound like a garage band turned down, but there's as much primal energy lurking behind Alligator as in any mop-topped group of city kids with bloodstained Danelectros in a dusty warehouse. (AllMusic)”

3. Neko Case, Blacklisted -- “Case has a voice so soaked in the nuances of country music that she might well have been born to sing it. Blacklisted brings in a torch to accompany the twang... The songs are spectral, yearning, and a bit opaque, the kind of music appropriate for a bar in which everyone has had a few and feels no better for it. (AVClub)”

2. The Hold Steady, Separation Sunday -- “Separation Sunday is mostly about the nostalgia of decadence, but it's also about Catholic schoolgirls, blackouts, wrong-way drives, and putting your mouth around a difficult question. You can trip over hyperbole just thinking about this record: they really are the country's most intuitive bar band fronted by our most original songwriter. (PopMatters)”

1. Wilco, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot -- Everything you read about Radiohead in every other “best of the decade” list this month should go for this album as well. You have to take most of the things I post on this blog with a grain of salt, obviously, but I'm completely serious when I say that Yankee Hotel Foxtrot floored me as a 16-year-old two years into high school and still holds up seven years later.

Also considered: The Strokes -- Is This It, Ryan Adams -- Heartbreaker, Drive-By Truckers -- Decoration Day.