Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Why I Hate South Carolina, And You Should Too!

SOS: Steven Orr Spurrier is the bane of every Bulldog fan's existence. No need to rehash his record against Georgia while at Florida. Unfortunately he's 3-4 against Georgia at South Carolina and that's saying something. He's always been an ass but now he's more of a nagging ass, always bitching about something whether it's scheduling (wish we played Arkansas this year) or newspaper columnists.

Columbia: South Carolina should've picked a better capital city (not saying Georgia's decision was any better). Columbia is like one big parking lot that offers the visiting fan absolutely nothing. It's a shithole (think ninth level of hell) and, while I hate South Carolina fans, I feel bad for anyone who has to live there.

Yep, just another beautiful day in hell. (Artwork by GFS IV)

Mitchell: self-explanatory. Let's be honest, nobody wants to be gotten by Mitchell EVER. (Wanted to post a picture but I'm no longer on Facebook and when you Google "Mitchell Palles" you end up with "Mitchell Paddles"- take that any way you want)

Stole Ric Flair's Intro Music: It makes sense on the one hand because obviously the Carolinas are Flair country. On the other hand, associating yourself with a 16-time World Champion doesn't make you a champion (more on this next). Now every time I see the greatest professional wrestler of all-time "walk that aisle" towards the ring I'm reminded of you jackasses.

Fans: I could write a whole separate post on this alone. I'm all for optimism and PMA but pre-season national champions every year? Really? Win the conference first then we'll talk about MNC's (which really are mythical in their case). For a team that has NEVER won anything, you would think they were damn USC by listening to the fanbase. Literally too, because they actually refer to themselves as USC when everybody knows the real USC is out on the west coast. They're not even "usc jr.," "SC," or "Carolina." They're just South Carolina as Dabo so eloquently put it and sometimes they get a little too big for their britches. Their fans ride the SEC's coattails better than anyone, especially when trying to hide the obvious inferiority complex in their own state. Don't believe me? Just visit FGF.

What a proud program- "Celebrating Mediocrity"

Feel free to share your feelings in the comments...


Charlie Dodson said...

Not a big fan of SC in general. It's an awful state made up of crappy towns. Bad high school football and basketball. HHI is a sorry excuse for a beach. Bunch of LAM's go there to feel important and rich. Top5 worst state in America.

Slic Ric said...

Dead on as usual Charles. Obviously I narrowed my focus to the school because if we are writing about the state in general I could fill a book with how bad it sucks.

Slic Ric said...

Hell it was hard enough just keeping this at a reasonable length.