With the holiday weekend coming up, as well as my needing to put together a CD tonight for the drive home tomorrow, I've been thinking a lot about the concept of the “song of the summer.” Every summer seems to have one song in particular that you'll always find playing on at least two radio stations at one time. Last summer, I guess it was “Umbrella” (but correct me if I'm wrong). And since I haven't listened to the radio at all this month, and thus have absolutely no idea what song is driving people insane right now, I thought this installment of The Top Five should include some of my own songs of the summer so far. (You have to click the link for the full song on some of these, unfortunately)
1. Weezer – The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations On a Quaker Hymn)
It's no secret that Weezer hasn't done anything worthwhile since 1996, but this song is so fucking terrible it's not even funny. No, seriously. It's the worst shit I've ever heard in my life. So bad I have to fill up this little blurb with profanity. So bad that it borders on absolute brilliance. Honestly, listen to this song and try to imagine writing something worse. You can't. I've already tried. It is totally perfect in its awfulness. It is, quite literally, the “Bohemian Rhapsody” of bad alt-rock. I don't know if it's a joke or not, and I don't really care, because this is the most amazing song I've heard in a long, long time.
Here's a loose outline of this monumental achievement in American music: Canned applause –> Somber piano –> Police sirens –> Rap rock –> Some vintage Weezer whining –> Enter choir: “After the havoc that I'm gonna wreak, no more words will critics have to speak” –> classic rock falsetto action –> Weezer parodies itself –> Spoken word section: “Act II, I hit the big time, and bodies be all up on my behind... If you don't like it, you can shove it. But you don't like it. You love it” –> Brian Wilson three-part harmony –> more Weezer-by-numbers –> Fin.
2. The Hold Steady – Constructive Summer
I told you The Hold Steady would be on here every time, and it does seem a little too easy to throw this song on the list, seeing as it sounds like the band sat down one day and decided to write something people would blare in their cars all summer long, but hey, it's executed perfectly. And you've got to admit, any song that invites you to scream “GET HAMMERED!” at the top of your lungs is a very rocking song indeed.
3. Bruce Springsteen – Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)
If there's any artist I always associate with the summer, it's Bruce Springsteen, and there's not a better song to listen to loud with the windows down on the way to the beach than this one (before anyone argues that point, as Eric Cartman once said: “Fuck you, Jimmy Buffett! You fucking suck!) I also can't help but respect any track that goes on for seven minutes without venturing anywhere near heady territory.
4. Camera Obscura – Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken
I might get made fun of for this one, but I can take it. Song's catchy as all hell. You know you can't resist it.
5. My Morning Jacket – Lay Low
I hadn't listened to this band in a pretty long time, but then I heard their new record, Evil Urges. It was so bad I had to immediately go back and listen to their other albums just to make sure it was the same group. And unfortunately, everything on Evil Urges is just plain crappy, not the awesome degree of atrociousness that is Weezer's “Greatest Man.” So I couldn't use any of those songs for this list, but I did remember how much I liked this song a couple years ago.
Feel free to post your own songs of the summer. Otherwise, see you at Game Night.
2 comments:
The mind is like a parachute...
No emo music?
Weezer is pretty damn emo in its own right.
And reading through this again, I don't think I was entirely clear about that first song. The point is, it's so very bad that I can't help but enjoy its total ridiculousness (if that's a word).
Post a Comment